July 23, 2014

real life

this last weekend, i jumped back into photographing weddings. as i paged through facebook, i saw this photo that was posted. for a second i didn't think it was me in it. but then i realized it was. this was me. taking photos of a special day that only happens once. i never would have thought years ago, this is what i would be doing on weekends. with grandma and grandpa watching my baby boy.

i just couldn't believe how blessed i've become in this life. a full-time job that i enjoy doing day in and day out. a hobby that i self-taught myself and now capture rare special moments for other people to cherish for years to come.

the day of, i'm just as nervous as the bride. i want these photos to turn out just the way they imagined them to be. i put a lot of pressure on myself. i am the only one there, though at times i wish i had a second pair of hands to carry this or that, or capture a photo i would have missed because i wasn't there. i still can't believe some of the images i take. i feel so lucky to do this for others. it's so fun to work your butt off all day long and many weeks after editing for the final end result.

i love going into past clients homes (most have become or are dear friends) and see the photos i took hanging on their walls. makes me so proud to do what i do because i love to do it.

most days i just have to pinch myself and tell myself that this really is the life i am living. i need to embrace it fully. give it all i've got because i'm making memories last just a bit longer for myself and others. this is my real life, i'm so grateful for it.

July 18, 2014

365 days

it has been three hundred. sixty. five days since my husband has left our house and has yet to return for good. 365 days since we took this little road trip.

so many things have changed since then. we found out we were pregnant. my husband finished his training, and literally the next day left for deployment. i survived the entire 32 weeks of pregnancy by myself. i delivered our beautiful baby boy without him by my side. i spent 3.5 weeks living in a hospital hotel room while our little preemie grew leaps and bounds in the NICU. i've raised our now almost 4 month old with little to no extra help. i went back to my job almost full time since 2 weeks postpartum and continue to bring my child with me, without daycare. i don't rant very often but somedays i just feel the need to. today would be one of those days where i deserve it.

i knew full well what i was getting myself into when i married into a military family. the constant weekends away. the endless amount of green and tan equipment that takes over your house. the months away for training. the year long possible deployments. i signed up for this and there should be no reason for me to constantly state how much i miss my husband. although that thought runs through my mind almost hourly it seems these days.

i suck it up. i put on a smile on my face because i am a military wife and a military mom. i have to keep up that strong front for other ladies out there just like me. because i know it could be worse. yes there are days where i'm at my wits end. baby is screaming, the dog needs attention, the yard is way past due for a mow, dinner hasn't been started and it's almost seven at night. but this phase is gonna fly by. just like the last three hundred and sixty five days.

take things day to day. it's always one day closer. find joy in the small things: a smile on your baby's face, frozen yogurt for dinner, an "i love you" message from your loved one. remember these moments because even if they don't seem very happy, God doesn't give you what he thinks you won't be able to handle.

you got this. i got this. here's to another sum hundred days left to go.