I attended a family baby shower a little while ago and I couldn't help but feel so overwhelmed when I left.
Watching them open up their gifts, knowing that soon their life is going to change, consumed with a new little one. So many things to do, to think about, to prepare for...
I got asked at least ten times, when can they expect to see babies from us. In all honesty, yes the husband and I have talked and we get excited about it but is it wrong for me to feel so selfish, right now?
I love the thought of a little one and have this yearning to become a mother, but the questions always run through my head:
"are we even ready for one"
"can we afford one"
"is this the right time to have one"
the list goes on and on. Gets me all worked up with so many different emotions.
I guess time will tell, but for right now I think I'm comfortable with our family of "two" and enjoying what life has to offer us as a couple still.
You're totally allowed to want to be just the two of you right now. I want one so crazy bad but we're still waiting so we can accomplish more and be "more" ready :)
ReplyDeletemy husband and I have been married for almost seven years - it wasn't until a year ago we decided we're ready for kids. While I'm getting anxious for it to happen sono I wouldn't trade it for the time we've had to enjoy and work on our marriage first! Enjoy that time together! I try my best to savor it now because I know it will change when we have kids.
ReplyDeleteI say enjoy your family of two for as long as possible! There's no going back to it after having kids. One thing my mom always told me and anyone that I know who had kids early in their marriage is that they wish they had more time without kids!
ReplyDeleteoh gosh, i am right there with you girl. so many people have been having babies around us that mr. taylor and i find ourselves talking about babies all too often. but i'm still too selfish, so i'm enjoying my family of "two" right now as well :)
ReplyDeletexo TJ
I am totally in the same boat as you, Whit! While Zach and I both adore kids, it just feels like we need more time with only the two of us. It's such a huge responsibility....I think God makes it happen when it's meant to happen :)
ReplyDeletefantastic picture!!
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Girl. I feel you. Snookums and I weren't married but for like 2 months before people started seriously HARASSING us about when we were gonna start having kids...
ReplyDeleteI think some people rush into it too quickly without thinking about things like you mentioned, such as can we afford it, are we ready etc.
I say when you are ready, you will know!! And don't let anyone pressure you into thinking you should be ready! ;)
Hey pretty lady! You have been tagged to do questions!! I really hope you decide to do it, it is fun! :) <3 I am excited to hear your responses too!
ReplyDeletehttp://bearatsea.blogspot.com/
I don't think there is anything wrong with waiting till you are ready as a couple. My husband and I have been married for almost 5 years now and we are no were near ready for kids. I never understood why people push and nag at newlywed couples to get pregnant so soon. I truly believe it happens when and in its own way for each of us. Try not to let the constant asking of "when" get to you.
ReplyDeleteI am not a fan when those type of questions come up, "What are you going to have a baby" oy, nothing wrong with waiting! I just love the picture of the shoes, adorable.
ReplyDeleteI feel the same way as you. I agree wholeheartedly that it's very important to have time together just as a couple, to bond and make memories. I think to have a baby too soon in marriage, it can make couples feel like they've missed out on a lot of time spent with just the two of them. Besides, waiting gives you something amazing to look forward to!
ReplyDeleteOh goodness I am in the exact same boat! I'm selfishly enjoying not having an attachment 24/7 and being able to go and do what I want when I want. Plus the husband and I are enjoying being us plus dog, not us plus dog and kid. I'm in no rush. We are still fairly young so I don't hear that question a ton quite yet. Thank goodness cause I'd probably come up with some witty answer that made people think I was ungrateful or something. Can't win them all though!
ReplyDeleteI felt the same!!! I was worried that the "selfish" feeling would never go away though. That would have been a problem for me, because I knew I wanted kids!! I rushed into it the first time, but thankfully, the big man knew it and we didn't get pregnant...We tried for 6 months with no luck, gave up for 6 months, then the night we talked about it again and decided to try...We got pregnant:) I knew it was the right time even though it was still such a big deal and so scary!
ReplyDeleteI don't think that feeling ever goes away???
And don't worry---Being 36 weeks pregnant and knowing it was the right time even, I still have days where I miss it just being R and I!! And the baby isn't even here yet;) It usually strikes on the days where I miss having my agile body, lol...
Getting pregnant definitely changes you as a couple, so just make sure that you're willing to accept "a change" even though, at this point, you're not sure what that change is...Building couple time and memories...There's nothing like it and it's so important that you give yourselves that time before a family comes along---I think you'll know the time is right when all you can think about is starting a family with your husband;)
Okay, that's enough outta me:) Good luck!
I totally understand. My entire life I have wanted to be a mother, and now that my husband and I have been married for coming up on two years, the timing is getting closer. Sometimes I wish we had a third and sometimes I am glad that we can just have time with the two of us. I think every couple's timing is different, so don't let anyone tell you that you should wait or that you shouldn't. I know some who waited more than 5 years before they had kids and felt it was too soon. Then I know some who had kids even before marriage and they are extremely happy! So just enjoy it all and wait until the two of you know you are ready!
ReplyDeleteDon't feel selfish!!! Now is your time to be selfish because you don't have kids. My husband and I think and talk about kids a lot, but we both know we'd like to enjoy our freedom while we have it. Plus we're both still so young! Be selfish while you can and enjoy not having to wake up to a crying baby through out the night! When the time is right, the time is right!
ReplyDeleteI know how you feel! I'm a years off from having kids but people ask eric and me all the time... we're not even married! lol We might as well be for as long as we've been together! Only time will tell :)
ReplyDeleteAnd there is definitely nothing wrong in waiting and enjoying time with you two! Once you do decide to have children together, it will make it that much more special and a moment to cherish. :)
ReplyDeleteEnjoy time just you two for a bit. Don't rush to have babies. Hubs and I had babies quickly and while I love my little bittles more than anything, I'd have liked more time to just be us for a bit.
ReplyDeleteBut we'll have our olden days when they kids are all grown.
Also, I don't think it's really possible to be financially ready for a baby.
Dude. I feel ya! Garrett and I have the exact same thoughts. We definitely want kids but the time just doesn't seem right. We worry about the timing, the money, the responsibility. And on the other hand I think, I am already 25 and don't want to wait much longer. I think for now I am just happy to have my husband and the time that we can spend with just us two!
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