the day

(wrote on 9.17.13)  the day i official found out we were going to have a baby. writing this at only five weeks in seems still so unreal yet. i'm not sure if it will ever phase me until i am holding the little one in my arms.

god works in mysterious ways and for some un-known reason he said now is the time. really god? is it really with the husband gone away for training for the next five months, missing my little belly grow each day. is it really? because he will leave as i just enter my third trimester to serve our country across the seas, and will not be back until our baby is nine months old. nine months. a lifetime will pass him by, missing so many of those first moments. not shared together.

but i believe still that this is the right time, like god said, because this little one will help me get through so much of him being gone. i know i will need the support of family and friends around me during the months leading up to the birth and many months after. i can not do it alone. i know i can't. but i have a hard time not letting go of my independent self. this will be a true test.
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it was a sunday afternoon, just before the packers game and a couple days before i could tell i had been different. cramping constantly. super constipated and only a little pink "spot" the day i was suppose to get my monthly gift. could this really be? am i really? mind are you playing games with me again? okay, what can one little test hurt? (a faint second line appears) i drop to my knees in complete disbelief. no way. absolutely no way. i was 4 weeks and 4 days.

game face time. that night was the hardest to keep a straight face and act like nothing was different than any other FaceTime conversation night with the husband. after, i ran into the Walgreens and picked up the most expensive test, the one that gave the YES or NO answer, no in between guessing. that next morning, my guesses became official. shocked. speechless. completely scared after thinking of the timing god and this little one has in store for us.

i knew then that i had to tell my husband in person, there was no way i could do it over the phone. it just wouldn't be the same. to see how his face reacts and not being able to hug and kiss in celebration. so it was that same day (monday) that i made plans to surprise my husband. $1000 for a plane ticket that weekend. you have got to be kidding?! the next day? $600? it is worth every last penny of that six hundred dollars to see my husband's reaction. booked.

no looking back. i slept like crap that monday night. finished up all i could at work early that tuesday morning, and that afternoon i was on the next flight to Ft. Sill, Oklahoma. with the help of the hosts that the husband's staying with, we made arrangements to come pick me up. shaking from the moment i landed, to the time i stepped in the door, i was nervous. i completely caught my husband off-guard at their house, not realizing why i never answered any of his calls/texts earlier that day. and you bet he was surprised. cashing in every last penny of that money well spent. i brought him into their kitchen and gave him his "baby gift". recorded it all and will definitely show you all the video sometime soon. i replay it over and over again. it never seems to get old.

that night, still both in complete and udder shock. we begin to talk, but there is one line that stood out in my head that i will never ever forget. as he was about to roll over and kiss me goodnight, i heard him say to himself "i'm going to be a dad". those six words have never been so wonderful to hear.

our dreams are finally becoming true and it has begun to sink in just a little.