i'm officially over 16 weeks and i still feel exactly the same as i did at 5 weeks about being actually "pregnant". it hasn't phased me yet, will it ever? my brain is still always forgetting that i am. we drove by some carnival with rides last week and i told the husband we should go. he quickly reminded me, "umm i don't think that's possible". oh right.
granted we have estimated about 167 days left, still time for it to really stink in. but honestly, will it hit me when the crib is finally up? will it hit me when i feel that first kick? will it phase me when i no longer can squeeze between a wall and backed up chair? i just don't know, i'm still in serious denial that there is a 4.5 inch baby floating around in my body.
still pushing the thought of deployment to the back of my mind. that he will still be home for good in a couple months after his graduation and we will get used to living under the same roof again. that he will be here to help me through the last part of this pregnancy. actually be there to run and grab something when i start craving things. being there to rub my back and feet. just there to keep me company and let me know things are going to be okay. holy crap i think him leaving is going to be the hardest part to take. knowing he may not be here to see our first child born. be there with me through it all. i don't want anyone else there when our child is finally born, because they aren't him. nothing can make up for that, no matter what. to share in all those first moments together.