i'm officially over 16 weeks and i still feel exactly the same as i did at 5 weeks about being actually "pregnant". it hasn't phased me yet, will it ever? my brain is still always forgetting that i am. we drove by some carnival with rides last week and i told the husband we should go. he quickly reminded me, "umm i don't think that's possible". oh right.
granted we have estimated about 167 days left, still time for it to really stink in. but honestly, will it hit me when the crib is finally up? will it hit me when i feel that first kick? will it phase me when i no longer can squeeze between a wall and backed up chair? i just don't know, i'm still in serious denial that there is a 4.5 inch baby floating around in my body.
still pushing the thought of deployment to the back of my mind. that he will still be home for good in a couple months after his graduation and we will get used to living under the same roof again. that he will be here to help me through the last part of this pregnancy. actually be there to run and grab something when i start craving things. being there to rub my back and feet. just there to keep me company and let me know things are going to be okay. holy crap i think him leaving is going to be the hardest part to take. knowing he may not be here to see our first child born. be there with me through it all. i don't want anyone else there when our child is finally born, because they aren't him. nothing can make up for that, no matter what. to share in all those first moments together.
Wow over 16 weeks already?! Time is sure flying by.
ReplyDeleteI can only begin to imagine what you feel like with the baby. I do understand to an extent how you are feeling about deployment. We heard word that Dalton will be deployed in 2014. It really has been hard. I'm here if you ever need to talk.
ReplyDeletePregnancy is such an odd thing. It sort of 'kicked in' for me when my pants didn't fit, and especially when you start to feel them kick, but there is nothing like the actual holding of the little human, and then realizing how much work your body did to make him. It is truly a miracle. I hope your husband will be home!
ReplyDeleteSweet girl! Once you start feeling the flutters & then the kicks I'm thinking it will start to sink in. Pregnancy is definitely a crazy thing. The emotions & all that goes into it. Here for you if you need to talk. :)
ReplyDeleteI know exactly what you mean! It didn't become real until we found out my son's gender. When I started buying more things, picked out a name, that's when it became real. But even when I was in labor I remember thinking am I really having a baby?! Praying for you guys, I really hope it works out and your hubby is home for the birth. You're a strong lady! :)
ReplyDeleteI think the realization is different for everyone. I had a hard time getting my head around my pregnancy as well. Mine was a surprise and took a LONG time to adjust. You'll adjust in your own time :)
ReplyDeleteIt wasn't really real for me until I found out the gender both times. I think it was because then we named the baby and such.
ReplyDeletehaha carnival rides:) You are too funny... Sounds like your still full of adventure- your little one is going to love that!:) beautiful pic
ReplyDeleteDon't go there yet Whit. Focus on the part where he WILL be around. I know it's heartbreaking but as Army wives we come second. Not that we really do in our husbands eyes but the Army owns them, so their duty comes first. I'm praying for you daily! Love the growing baby bump!
ReplyDeleteIt's definitely when you first feel them kick! (:
ReplyDeleteTime does fly by! Enjoy every moment!! :)
ReplyDeleteSo many emotions every were, I of course am not pregnant but can't help but wonder the same things sometimes. Life as a army wife right!
ReplyDeleteI felt the same way when I was pregnant and my husband was gearing up for deployment. I don't think it totally sunk in that I was pregnant until he was gone and I was faced with the reality that he was going to miss it all! I'm so sorry you're going to have to go through that, too. We are gearing up for deployment #2 right now and I'm so glad that I am not pregnant this time. Not that it makes it any easier. Hang in there!
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