week twenty six

let's just say this week was one that had this momma scared out of her wits and in tears worried sick.

the midwives referred me to a fetal specialist to do a more intensive ultrasound because baby hasn't been growing out of the 9th percentile. so i had to drive an hour to another hospital and i got to take another peek at this little one.

after the ultrasound was finished, the specialist came in. i was told that the placenta is low and covering up part of my cervix, they are hoping to moves out of the way as the baby continues to grow, but if it doesn't it, it means i have to have a c-section because if i plan to delivery naturally it could cause hemorrhaging.  (way to start off with great news!)

they then explained that baby's head and belly are measuring in the 13th percentile but baby's femur is still in the 9th. they don't see any signs of dwarfism (way to throw out some scary words right away to this momma) but he wants me to talk to a genetic counselor, whom already was in the back of the room waiting. she brought me into another room, brought out her handouts with explanations and pictures of chromosomes. at this point in time, i'm trying so hard to hold back any tears i have and keep as calm as i can. she explained about how down syndrome happens and questioned if we ever had the T-21 blood test drawn to search for any extra chromosomes in baby's blood. so she sent me out with two test tubes and i walked my way down to the lab to have my blood drawn. all the while this anxiety started to build up in me and i wished so hard that my husband was there with me. he'd have questions, he'd start a conversation to make me feel better. i have to go back to them every 3-4 weeks now to monitor my placenta placement and also to see if there is any other reasons, like perhaps something in my body that is restricting baby's growth. but i left that day scared out of my mind of what could be's and not much reassurance from any of the doctors/specialists that baby is okay, just small.

after i had my blood drawn, i got back into the car and i started to finally have a text conversation with my husband, whom is busy with army training stuff in the first place. i was lucky enough to even get a chance to talk, but i broke down. crying my eyes out the entire way home, it was such a long hour drive. and left me no motivation to even go into work that rest of the morning. results from the blood test wouldn't be until a week or a half later. leaving my mind to race and worry, and google. never google. it never helps, only makes it worse.

that weekend i kept myself busy, catching up on my project life scrapbook, meeting up with a couple blogger-turned into great friends for lunch, and lots of cleaning and organizing the house. it wouldn't be until late next week that we'd find out the results.