i'm a mom

this is the last item on my 30 before 30 list, and i can officially cross it off.

it still doesn't seem to be real for me. does it ever sink in moms? i knew since i was little that i've always wanted to be mom. i enjoyed babysitting back in middle/high school. even remembering skipping one of my high school dances to babysit three of my favorite neighbor kids.

but now that i have a little one of my own. a little boy. one that i've wanted so bad, it hasn't quite hit me that he is mine. sometimes i catch myself thinking this is only temporary, and i have to pinch myself. he is my son. our son. we created this little miracle.

although the circumstances we are under weren't quite how we liked them to be, the husband and i joked back during our engagement year that he'd quote "knock me up and then deploy". well we ate those words. every bit of them. but i wouldn't change it. although he is missing out on cuddles and many diaper changes. he has made me a mother, and for that fact i'm so grateful. its one of the best gifts i could ask for.

every day i hold my son in my arms and thank god for how my life has played out. i have a new full-time 24/7 job. although i know there will be many lows, many times my patience will be tested, it doesn't match the fact that i truly am a mom now.

i look forward to many years ahead and seeing just how i grow as a mother, reflecting on this first year.

happy mother's day to all those moms out there. may your day be just as special as the first day you found out you were expecting or brought your little one(s) into this world.