control

i have been thinking a lot lately about transitioning to having my husband back in our home. it has been over a year and a half now that i have been living by myself. everything is where i put it last. there are no random socks or army boots to trip over. i have the control. i wake every morning, change and feed our son. i come home from work and make myself dinner. adjusting back to having him home is going to be a test for me. am i willing to give up most of this control? how hard will it be to go back to living as a couple again. some of those duties, i'll be happy to pass back to him: cooking is one of them. most of the time i just don't have enough time to cook myself a decent meal. and when i do, i make enough to last the rest of the week. but i have done everything for our son, change him, bath him, feed him, put him to sleep. will that be hard to let go of? how easy will it be to slide back into the backseat and just watch? i long for the night where i roll over in bed and finally see his sleeping face and have him wrap his arms around me. i just wish time would hurry a bit faster to make this transition finally become reality.