it has been three hundred. sixty. five days since my husband has left our house and has yet to return for good. 365 days since we took this little road trip.
so many things have changed since then. we found out we were pregnant. my husband finished his training, and literally the next day left for deployment. i survived the entire 32 weeks of pregnancy by myself. i delivered our beautiful baby boy without him by my side. i spent 3.5 weeks living in a hospital hotel room while our little preemie grew leaps and bounds in the NICU. i've raised our now almost 4 month old with little to no extra help. i went back to my job almost full time since 2 weeks postpartum and continue to bring my child with me, without daycare. i don't rant very often but somedays i just feel the need to. today would be one of those days where i deserve it.
i knew full well what i was getting myself into when i married into a military family. the constant weekends away. the endless amount of green and tan equipment that takes over your house. the months away for training. the year long possible deployments. i signed up for this and there should be no reason for me to constantly state how much i miss my husband. although that thought runs through my mind almost hourly it seems these days.
i suck it up. i put on a smile on my face because i am a military wife and a military mom. i have to keep up that strong front for other ladies out there just like me. because i know it could be worse. yes there are days where i'm at my wits end. baby is screaming, the dog needs attention, the yard is way past due for a mow, dinner hasn't been started and it's almost seven at night. but this phase is gonna fly by. just like the last three hundred and sixty five days.
take things day to day. it's always one day closer. find joy in the small things: a smile on your baby's face, frozen yogurt for dinner, an "i love you" message from your loved one. remember these moments because even if they don't seem very happy, God doesn't give you what he thinks you won't be able to handle.
you got this. i got this. here's to another sum hundred days left to go.
Sending you hugs mama! You are doing an amazing job with baby and dog and home and life in general. Just like you said, take things day to day! :)
ReplyDeleteOh girl, you are so so strong and deserve all the props in the world. You are amazing. <3
ReplyDeleteYou are so strong and such an amazing mama and wife.
ReplyDeleteYou're allowed to miss your husband, and you are certainly allowed to bitch about Army life. You've handled this past year with a lot of grace, and you're on the downhill side!
ReplyDeleteYou are amazing my friend!
ReplyDeleteI remember these feelings all too well - it truly does fly by - until then though, keep that chin up, you're doing so well. an exemplary show of strength and independence.
ReplyDeleteYou are seriously strong, and tackling this deployment and motherhood like a boss. Wish I lived closer so I could give you a break! You more than deserve it!!
ReplyDeleteGirl your allowed to vent, have bad days, break downs, it comes along with it. Its totally ok. Your doing great hang in there, times flying and you'll all be together again soon!!!
ReplyDeleteYou are amazing. You can do hard things. Like you said, one day closer. :)
ReplyDeleteGeez. World's longest deployment! It's alright to rant. Even if it is what we signed up for, it's not often an easy life. But when you're done with this part of it, you can check it off and put it on the list of things you never have to do again!
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful post! You have a much better attitude than I do on days dealing with much less! You are quite the inspiration!
ReplyDeleteJust because we knew what we were getting into when we got married doesn't mean we can't have bad days! Say you miss him and want him home as much as you want. No judgment here! :)
ReplyDelete