July 18, 2014
it has been three hundred. sixty. five days since my husband has left our house and has yet to return for good. 365 days since we took this little road trip.
so many things have changed since then. we found out we were pregnant. my husband finished his training, and literally the next day left for deployment. i survived the entire 32 weeks of pregnancy by myself. i delivered our beautiful baby boy without him by my side. i spent 3.5 weeks living in a hospital hotel room while our little preemie grew leaps and bounds in the NICU. i've raised our now almost 4 month old with little to no extra help. i went back to my job almost full time since 2 weeks postpartum and continue to bring my child with me, without daycare. i don't rant very often but somedays i just feel the need to. today would be one of those days where i deserve it.
i knew full well what i was getting myself into when i married into a military family. the constant weekends away. the endless amount of green and tan equipment that takes over your house. the months away for training. the year long possible deployments. i signed up for this and there should be no reason for me to constantly state how much i miss my husband. although that thought runs through my mind almost hourly it seems these days.
i suck it up. i put on a smile on my face because i am a military wife and a military mom. i have to keep up that strong front for other ladies out there just like me. because i know it could be worse. yes there are days where i'm at my wits end. baby is screaming, the dog needs attention, the yard is way past due for a mow, dinner hasn't been started and it's almost seven at night. but this phase is gonna fly by. just like the last three hundred and sixty five days.
take things day to day. it's always one day closer. find joy in the small things: a smile on your baby's face, frozen yogurt for dinner, an "i love you" message from your loved one. remember these moments because even if they don't seem very happy, God doesn't give you what he thinks you won't be able to handle.
you got this. i got this. here's to another sum hundred days left to go.