January 25, 2015
the days leading up to this day seem to drag on, even if i did keep myself busy. but now the time has come and gone so quickly before my eyes, i'm so thankful to have photographs and video to reminisce. the day played out just as i had imagined. i drove myself and my son down to the airport, outfits picked out, signage made, butterflies in my stomach. we embraced as he came down the escalator, rose in hand and the long awaited kiss or two. he then got to hold his son for the first time. my husband's first words to him "wow, look at you. you're so big".
i was so nervous for that day to come. did i have a reason to be? probably, it has been 562 days since he left home for army training. after those 6 or 7 months he left straight for deployment. literally two days after he came home. so i spent a total of maybe 30 days with him physically over that time. in those five hundred sum days: we found out we were expecting, i went through my entire pregnancy alone, worked full time, said "see you soon's" when he deployed and had our son (who was two months early) just two weeks after. spent a month in the NICU and wrestled endless sleepless nights for months. how i survived, i honestly do not not. i went back to work for over 20+ hours not even two weeks after he was born and continued that until my husband came home. not to mentioned my photography hobby on the side during some nights and weekends of weddings and other family sessions. i feel like i'm bragging, and i really don't mean to but this has been the hardest 562 days of my life and i deserve to have some rights to brag right?
i never wish single parenting on anyone. how a parent does it with more than one child, i am baffled. it is hard. you can't go anywhere without them by your side. you are not able to up and leave the house to run and quick get some eggs. you will have to bundle him up, put him in his carseat, lug it around to and from all the while still managing to remember what in the heck you went out for in the first place. but non-the-less, i got into a routine. a strong one where my son knew and woke up almost every day at the same time and went to bed within the same time each night. it helped, tremendously. and soon those days flew into months and before i knew it i was counting down the hours until i was reunited with my husband. my son's father.
that moment was pure joy filled with some strong hesitation. we haven't been in the same physical location for over a year and a half. i got so used to living by myself. knowing where i left things and the house as i clean was what i left it. this transition is going to be a tough on not only on us as a couple but also add a new small child to the mix. who has his own routine, filled with bottles, diaper changes, solid foods, naps and bath time. all of which i have done at a certain time during the day and in a specific way. relaying this information all to a daddy who has never been one before. never changed a dirty diaper (bless his heart) or given his son a bath. a whole new experience for all of us. and an understanding that things were going to change, but for the better. because he is now home. he get's to witness first hand what i do day in and day out. slowly getting into his own routine and bonding with his son.
seeing those two together, i understand why moms boast and brag about it. it's truly all heart eye emjoi and more. and i'll try not to spam you all on social media site platforms with it, but in all honesty, i've have 10 months to make up for! oh what i wouldn't give to see my husband's reaction if he was there for his birth. realize just how small a three pound baby was in his arms. though he does get a chance to see him start to crawl (whenever that will be), watch him play, laugh, wave "hi" and splash in his bath. i will forever treasure these first couple days of watching him learn to be a father. and a great one at that. so thankful he is finally home, and we are a complete family now.