September 15, 2014

a year ago

365 days have flew by, since i wrote this post (link). it's crazy to think that a year ago today i found out we were expecting. total surprise. though it wasn't planned, it wasn't not-planned for either. :) if you catch my drift. just wanted to "have fun" in my husbands words. well here i sit on that exact same couch, with a sleeping baby in my arms. one his daddy has yet to meet. i know i say that over and over again but i can't seem to help it. a large part of my heart aches when i see new daddies with their children. wondering how he will be with our son. he never got to witness my baby belly grow each and every day. he saw my baby bump a handful of times before he deployed. all those moments, i dreamed in my head never did play out the way i envisioned them to be.

a year went by so quickly. our lives have changed dramatically. i went from working full time with so much extra free time, to working part time and never having a moment to myself except for bedtime. but even then, i'm stuck in the house. i can't just leave to go have a couple drinks and dinner with friends after 7:30 pm. although i love being a mom, i love my free time too.

before we found out we were expecting, we thought we'd have four children. i came from a large family, and so did he. but after going through this pregnancy alone and raising our son for the last 6 months by myself. i'm starting to think one may be enough. as selfish as that may sound, i'm not sure if i'm cut out for having another. pregnancy is hard on your body, and even after baby is born. my body just isn't the way it once was. my hips never seemed to shrink back and it's going to take me at least a good couple months (if i stick to it) to get my stomach back. i see all these mommas with multiple kids and wonder how in the world did they do it? can i be half as good as them?


  1. How long until Chris returns home?

    Isn't it crazy how fast time flies, especially when a little one is around? And Whitney, whether or not you have one child or five or ten, it isn't selfish. You & your husband know what is best for your family, and that is all that matters. :)

  2. I said all the same things you did when my daughter was 6, 9, 12 months old. It's a lot of work, physically and mentally, and I at least had the help of my husband 95% of the time. With that said, our son was a total surprise and I worried so much during my pregnancy about how I was going to care for two kids. It was tough in the beginning but not nearly as difficult as it was going from none to one. Now I can't imagine my life without two kids...they entertain each other so well even at the ages of 3 and 1.

    Give yourself some time and remember it won't be this difficult forever. Your husband will be back and all the difficulties of that first year will be a distant memory.

  3. You are so strong! Defiantly someone i look up to Whit. These years are going to fly by once Daddy gets home and you are going to want another one. And those hips can kill! you look rockin! What you've endured this past year is more than most women, but look at you now... Think about how proud Chris is to call you his wife.

  4. Goodness girl, pretty sure you were reading my thoughts there! Just know, you are NOT alone!

  5. I think whatever decision yall make will work itself out. All mom's have those doubts I am sure. You are doing great mama!

  6. Your doing such a fabulous job right now and just keep reminding your self that. No one said it was easy but totally worth it!! I'm on the same page as you though abt only having one kiddo, I'm terrified of how my body will change.